Chris Hooley’s -ThinkBait-

I must admit, I’m a bit nostalgic about the says when the internet was a little underground. I got joke emails and actually WANTED to receive them. Only a select few in my circle saw all the same viral stuff I did. It felt kind of exclusive.

But on the other hand, it is amazing to see this same creativity at the forefront of pop culture. Watching the web grow into what it has become was something only my generation witnessed. We watched history being made daily, and we still are watching. The web is still in it’s infancy, but it’s already now as mainstream as it gets.

Insert Weezer. Their new video is a compilation of viral video stars, which has literally changed my opinion of them as a band. I never disliked them, but I was never a big Weezer guy. Now, from one stinkin’ video, they have converted me into a huge fan. Those of you who are as web geeeky as I am will absolutely love this video. And without further ado, and a few weeks behind the curve, I present to you my new favorite video of all time. Weezer’s Pork and Beans. Enjoy!

If you’re like me (a completely A.D.D. web geek) your attention span is probably really shor..

So short I couldn’t even finish writing that sentence…

So let’s get to the point then.  Come follow me on Twitter.  Micro-blogging.  Fast.   Click here and win fabulous prizes!

While perusing some of the premium content over at SEOmoz for some new nuggets, I found the answer. The magic bullet. The ONE thing I need on my blog to harness the sheer link power of the internet.

And this was the result:

Now, I just sit back and wait for the ranks to ROLL right in! Thanks Mozzers!!

The only thing that could possibly be more Irish for the SEM community is moving the SES to Boston… check that, I guess you could have it in IRELAND, but I digress…

NEW YORK FUCKIN’ CITY! S.E.S. Pub Crawl! St. Patrick’s Day!! I don’t know what YOUR plans are, but if you’re a REAL web marketer, you’re probably a party animal like the rest of us. If you’re a REAL party animal, you probably like pubs and pub crawls. If you REALLY like pubs or pub crawls, you’re probably Irish (and even if you aren’t you still pretend you are on St. Patty’s Day).

Here’s the deal, there is a prefect intersection of BAD ASS happening this Monday, in New York Fuckin’ City. I don’t know what YOUR plans are yet but drop them cuz the real bad asses in our industry will be doing ONE THING ONLY. And that’s whoopin’ it up, drinking green beer and Guinness (or Irish Whiskey if you’re extremely bad ass), and talking about how awesome Chris Hooley is during the S.E.S. Pub Crawl!

More details to come, but be ready mofos!

Being a single dad means wearing a lot of hats. Dad, mom, chef, doctor, teacher, coach, and sometimes when I am lucky, activity coordinator. Being in charge of the activities means I don’t have to play house, have a tea party, or pretend I am a Disney prince… all activities that I grin and bear with a smile, none of which I am particularly fond of (especially being the Prince, I keep telling her if she’s the Princess, I am the KING!)

After a while, I’ve started to figure out some ways to spend time with my kiddo while maintaining some semblance of manliness AND getting some exercise at the same time. It helps that she’s almost 5 now and is able to partake in more vigorous activities but I digress. Here are 7 great active ideas for Dad’s with little girls who like me, don’t have enough time to both play with the kiddo and get in their daily exercise!

1) Weight Lifting - Daddy Style

Daddy Style weightlifting means your weights are… your kid! It’s free, requires no travel, and it can be done right on your living room floor. My daughter loves to be bench pressed, curled, lifted, leg lifted, etc. We also take turns with sets. She tries bench pressing my arm or leg, and tests her strength. It’s a great way to teach your daughter how to exercise, and to motivate her to try harder or challenge herself. The only problem I’ve encountered in getting a real workout here is that she’s only 45 pounds. I can’t exactly mass build when benching a toddler.

2) Pretend Wrestling

This one is the easiest; and again this one’s free! Kids love to be “roughed up” as long as you aren’t actually rough at all. It’s also the perfect time to teach appropriate boundaries. We have tons of fun pretending we are boxers or professional wrestlers while we pretend to punch, block, kick, or grapple in ways that don’t hurt your “opponent”. I’ll often lift her up over my head pretending I tossed her out of the ring, while slowly lowering her to the ground and pretend shouting “nooooooo!” Gives me a little of that healthy muscle burn, and give her a laugh from being suspended in mid air.

3) Karaoke Dance Parties

This activity isn’t exactly free since it requires music… and for my reputation’s sake this can only be done if the blinds are closed. But this is one of my guilty pleasure and secretly one of my favorites.

I have a playlist on my iPod that has a ton of 80s music (with no swears of course!) sprinkled in with some Hannah Montana and a few No Doubt songs for good measure. We crank up the iPod dock and use one of her brushes as a microphone and we pretend to do concerts for her dolls, or we’ll even make up silly dance routines. I use this opportunity to dance like a maniac, bordering physical comedy. She laughs like a maniac, bordering asthma attacks.  However if the general population ever saw this, there would be a lot more crying than laughing… either from me, or those watching it.

4) Playing the Wii

This might be the manliest activity on my list. What guy doesn’t like video games? Especially ones their 4-5 year old daughter likes too! When we play Wii bowling, to increase the healthy factor, we pretend to run down the isle just like real bowling and we even jump when we release the ball. It doesn’t help my accuracy much, but at least we’re getting active and having some fun.

5) Going Out “Discovering”

The outdoors can be fantastical to a child-if they have the right guide. We’ll walk down the street and I’ll help her climb random objects pretending they are something from out of this world. Sometimes we’ll find a trail and climb hills, large rocks, or small mountains and pretend we’re discovering new lands.  Sometimes I’ll even let her load up her wagon with dolls and we went for a walk around the block pretending we were tour guides.

6) Target Jumping

This one is a real hit with the kids.  All you gotta do is set “targets” around the house or outside.  I often use my finger against a wall or a washable marker.  Set your targets at various heights just near the top of your daughter’s max jumping height.  Give her a route around the house, and she must touch or slap each target.  If the target is too high, lower it a bit.  Too low?  Add another higher one.  Use your watch like a stop watch and time her like it’s an obstacle course (I often make up times and keep yelling “GO GO GO! You’re Gonna Break the Record!”.  20 minutes of this and she’ll be napping in no time!

There are a bunch of variations in this game, where you can follow her around the “course” and hit your own targets, or if your daughter has friends over you can line them all up and use your finger against the wall and adjust for each of their jumping abilities.   If you’re tired, just lean against the wall and set various targets with your hand or finger.  If you wanna rev up, get outside and make it challenging for both of you.  You’d be surprised at how much fun your little one will have with this one.

7) Tasting Parties

A tasting party is when you choose a couple of new foods (we usually do exotic fruits) and see what they taste like.  I usually take my daughter to the grocery store so we can look at different fruits and vegetables to figure out which we would like to try that day.  Then we take them home, wash them together, and prepare them to be served (I usually handle anything that has to do with a knife!)  Then we set our plates, and take turns tasting things and explaining what they taste like.  This is a perfect way to refuel after some exhausting play time AND to replace junk food snacks with healthier alternatives.

8) BONUS ACTIVITY: Take a nap!

Because both you and your kid are probably worn out now!

If anybody else knows of any other healthy activities for Dads and Daughters, comment here and let me know what YOU do.  I’m always looking for new ways to bond with my kid and keep that Daddy Belly in check!  Plus, this could be a good resource for people who started like me, having NO IDEA how to raise a little girl.  Single dads (like me) especially could probably use a little guidance sometimes.

Chris Hooley Talks Chris Hooley, SEO, and Awesomeness in General

That.  Just. Happened.

I have so much to say about my experience but the pain is too strong to write it all right now. But like every dark cloud, even THE Biggest Disappointment in Sports History had a shining moment for me. I was on TV! Watch the clip and relish my huge fame and instant popularity!

Wow, that movie was terrific eh? Send all movie script roles to me via my contact page!

Anybody need some? I can get them to you at the last minute. I live in AZ. There are very few of these bad boys left on the planet!

(I just magically turned into a ticket broker!!)

I can’t believe it… I’m having daily heart palpitations. I am going to be there when history is made. I am going to the biggest football game ever. Ever. This is the year Tom Brady and the Patriots make history!!

I’ll be in section 406 row 10. Watch for me on TV, I’m gonna do my best to hog the camera for at least one second to cement my immortality too. I’m high up, so the camera won’t likley be buzzing around where I sit, but my HELMET will insure that even if I am on for ONE GLIMPSE that I will be easy to spot.

Go Patriots! This is the biggest event I have ever headed to. I feel like I am going to explode!!

If you’re a fan of Tom Brady, or funny random blogging, go check out Tom Brady Secrets. HILARIOUS stuff!

FYI- Jeff Dempsey contributed a ton to this blog, which is probably why it is so funny!

Alcohol and popularity. What’s the deal? How are these things related? The only way to find out is to join the ultimate facebook group, Drinking Your Way to Popularity!

All the cool kids are doing it.

The best thing about it? You’re safe inside the walled garden that is Facebook. Nobody has to know your little secret… which is that you are a total drunk and so are your friends.

“This group is for all kinds of people who use beer, wine, or liquor to make themselves larger than life. Recreational drinkers, frat boys, business people who liquor up their clients and vendors, party animals, this is your home away from your home away from home, which should be your local bar.

Post pics and videos of puking, embarrassing photos of your friends (or enemies!), or any other alcohol related awesomeness. “

Sounds like the place to be! And the best part? If I know you, and you are my friend, you are automatically appointed an officer with a really cool name which undoubtedly will follow you around for the rest of your life.

Here’s the current role call of officers!

Chris Hooley

Doctor Drinkbait

Anna Rule (Toronto, ON)

Doctor Drinkbait’s Nurse of Love (AKA my girlfriend)

Jon Heinl (Phoenix)

Beer Bong Enthousiast

Skorp

Brewski Conquistador

Sara Hause (no network)

Drunk Chick with a Great Rack

Nicola Young (Glasgow)

Mexican

Gretchen Erle (Atlanta, GA)

Big Boobs McChuggy Juggs!

Michael Buonomo (San Diego, CA)

Pony Keg Operations Specialist

Carolyn Shelby (Chicago, IL)

Perverted Beer Matron

Ken Savage (Lowell, MA)

Big Poppa Masshole

Dan Rezmovits (SUNY New Paltz)

New York Nugget Tugger

Rhea Drysdale (Jacksonville, FL)

Beer Monkey

Barbara Boser (Los Angeles, CA)

Boser’s Beer Babe

Rebecca Kelley (Washington)

ReBEERcca Kelley

Jill Sampey (New York, NY)

Chill Jill

David Wallace

Search Drank

Scott Willoughby (Seattle, WA)

Dave Naylor’s Eveil Drunken Twin

Michael A. Gray (Nassau County, NY)

BeerWolf

Lucas Ng (Australia)

Crocodile Mud Wrestler

Viper Edge (Chicago, IL)

Snake Bite Maker

Eddie Machado (Fort Lauderdale, FL)

Edible Underwear Model

David Brown (Bellingham, WA)

Bone Crusher

Brian Alpert (Washington, DC)

Drum Circle Jerker

Brett Tabke (Austin, TX)

Pubmaster

Robert Garcia (Miami, FL)

Rum Runner

Kelvin Newman (Brighton and Hove)

Beer Jockey

Michael McDonald (Lexington, KY)

Rage Reporter

Pete Wailes (London)

Pianist (not to be confused with “Penist”)

Aussie Webmaster (New York, NY)

Foster’s Importer

Danielle Winfield (New York, NY)

Exotic Beer Maiden

Barry Schwartz (no network)

Cartoon Beery

Ekrum Ashgar (London)

Ex Raver, Current Rager

Greg Boser (Los Angeles, CA)

Dark Beer Elitist

So get off your butt and get down with the crew. Facebook is in the house, drinks are in the house, Doctor DrinkBait is IN THE HOUSE! Get moving people!

Ladies, ladies, ladies (and gay dudes) I know you where disappointed that I found a hot babe and can no longer be auctioned off. BUT I have some great news… WIN A DATE WITH AN SEO IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER!!!

The SEO who most resembles k-Fed:

has agreed to take my place and deliver an amazing night to the lucky winner. He’s single, he’s hot, he’s Rockyfied, his douche factor is even LOWER THAN MINE.

Ok maybe not. But at least he looks HOT taking a self pic in his boxers next to his half eaten taco bell, eh ladies?

This is not a joke, Joe really agreed to do the contest. Really. I bet you were wishing it was Cameron or Guillaume.

And as an added bonus, I have decided to be the main camera man to capture the antics!

Oh man this is gonna be good!!! Comment with all your questions, concerns, ideas, and just to show JOE some love. Because who knows, you might just be the lucky guy girl who wins a date with this handsome SEO cowboy!

I remember back in the days when I was a blogger.  I used to write stuff.  People used to link here.  Chicks used to dig me.

Well I’m back with about 40 links that are way overdue (I’m not a liar, just BUSY).  For those of you who wished me a Happy Birthday on my 30th, here’s your love, right back atcha.  Sorry my much anticipated (and by much anticipated I mean not at all anticipated) overdue post is just a thank you, but at least I got off on my ass again and wrote SOMETHING eh?

Let the love flow baby.

Snoop Blog, my main SEO pimp mofo, as usual first to respond.  Thanks for the multiple beer bongs (he actually built them), guitar hero, and the mofuggin LUNCH BOXES!

Ump, proud to have you on board, now get your blog up already.

Jeff Dempsey, Jeff Dempsey, your blogs pwn all others.

Carolyn, next time you and Dave are gonna hit Vegas for reals with the Hool and the Rule!

PPC Guy, even if we’re #2 you’re still tops in my book

Markus, one day we will launch 12inchblackrubberdildobait.com and we’ll make literally hundreds

Jihan, it aint a party till your KrazyKorean ass shows up, thanks for being part of pretty much every birthday party I’ve had since I landed in AZ and for pitching in on at least 6 of my worst 7 presents ever.  The neoprene shorts are still getting a lot of mileage

Chris, you’ve been a bad ass since the Devry days.

Joe, shame your daughter’s poops prevented you from making it to the jam.  You were literally a quarter mile away

Jess, you money maker mover and shaker, keep pimpin it

Rhona, I miss you.  But that doesn’t stop me from eating horses

Tamar, maybe you can digg this?  Just kidding it’s a boring post :-p

Dan, I don’t know which site you are pimpin these days but I’ll be sure to visit you in SD if you don’t mind the fact I aint single no more and can hardly even wingman properly now

Aaron, your blog rocks… I have no idea how I ended up on your superstar list but I sure do appreciate it!

Joachim, nice quote.  Keep pimpin wiki bad ass style mang

Cameron, your Burt Reynolds style inspired a mustache contest at my office.  Bravo sir

Nathania, we’re old.  But at least YOU’RE still nice!

CHRIS!  SES San Jose we’re gettin beers.  And drinkin them.  Congrats on being your own boss!

Dan, “YO” will never be old.  nice adsense.

Prat, not sure we met but you did in fact wish my a happy birthday which did in fact earn you a link.  Enjoy!

David Wallace, my original SEO sensei!  Dude, those beers where AMAZING!  Piraat Ale and Nefarious Ten Pin were TOP NOTCH!  Thanks for making it to the b-day party and tell your beautiful wide I said hello!

Jason Murphy Man was I glad to finally roll witcha!  Looking forward to the next time

Chris, my pubcon buddy circa 2006, we got mo’ in sto’ for 07!

Pete Wailes, you  sir are a bad ass mofo, looking forward to your new site!

Andrea, I miss the shizzle out of you!  Conferences don’t happen often enough, I might have to rig a once partially awesome contest idea to get your ass out here to PHX!

Jon, much respect to you even if you ARE a yanks fan.  At least YOU don’t suck.

Joe Whyte, you are a legend in my office.  My life will never be the same now that I have the lunch box

Rach, you deserve all the happiness our family affords you.  I aspire to be as good a parent as you and Jeff are to my amazing nephews.

Rae the only thing hotter than your tought round buttocks is your skill in the marketplace.  Amazing

SEO Fan Girl, one day I may bless the pages of your blog.  On that day I will know it is ok to follow the light, for I will have achieved one of my main life goals.

Josh, we been down for years in the Arizona SEO shit.   Keep up the good work homez

Brendon, I don’t know you but you pimped the system, which I respect fully

Savage!  Glad to hear there’s some web money flowing into the Merrimac Valley brah!

Brook, it’s hard to link out to that one cuz you guys are right there in my vertical, but a deal’s a deal.  Now get my favorite site a few links from some of yours and we’ll all be happy ;-)

Johnny, you worked that system baby.  Send me a fish tank :-p

Lucas, worked it too

David, happy to see you’re jumping in to make some loot online!  Keep pimpin homie you’re gonna be big time!

And that’s it.  Maybe my next blog post will be part 2 of my Hooley Party Train?

I can’t believe how DOPE this video is. Snoop Blawg, Skorp, Jihan, me and a bunch of buddies rented rascals for superbowl weekend in Vegas and pimped thos thangs like true macks! It took Snoop a long ass time to edit the video, but it’s here. Checka check it out and LOVE it!

CHECK OUT THE ORIGINAL POST: Riding Dirty!

Pimp out that YouTube and get some viral action going! Ridin’ Dirty Video!

Skorp’s blog post about RYDIN’ DIRTY!

Link to Snoop’s post and get that thing out therrrrr!!! <a href=”http://www.snoopbloggyblog.com/?p=7″>Riding Dirty Video</a>

w0rd!!

Chris is coming home baby! This is my first trip back to Beantown since I stayed at Uncle Mark’s and Auntie Marie’s about 5-6 years ago. I have since gained 30 pounds (it’s all muscle lol), had a kid, bought 2 houses, and developed a taste for fiber rich foods and shuffleboard.

My taste for beer however, remains unchanged. And I want to drink one with YOU!

I’m getting in on Saturday night, staying at some swanky hotel (the one that sarah jessica parker got kicked out of the pool on sex in the city) and going to the sox game on Sunday. Sat night and especially Sunday night I’ll be looking for something fun to do, so if you’ll be in or around the city let me know. We’ll get some brewskis and maybe go bah hoppin or somethin.

HIT ME UP if you wanna meet up downtown and / or go get a beer. My cell is 623-680-9173 and I should have it on at all times. CALL ME, we’ll talk. Maybe we can take a trip down to Tewksbury and hang out at the Oakdale Mall with our skateboards and beg strangers for money to get some Papa Ginos too. err, maybe not that. OK then. SEE YOU IN BEANTOWN! (hopefully)

On a side note… I owe you guys a few posts. One for links for those birthday wishes, and part 2 of my Hooley Party Train post. Just so you know, I got this new GF who is taking up a lot of my blogging time so feel free to blame her for all bad things in your life that involve me. She’s just so darn cute I can’t bring myself to sit in front of my computer when I’m not working-

Tell ya what, if Boston is boring, you’ll see a bunch of posts coming from this el blogo and everybody will be more happy than ever… except my GF who will probably be getting hatemail for being hawt.

w0rd!

best. prank. ever. 

Jeff Dempsey, my technical specialist at NextStudent,  decided to create a website dedicated to yours truly and then get a bunch links pointed to it.  He even recruited a bunch o