Chris Hooley's -ThinkBait- » DrinkBait

Pubcon is Coming!

Chris Hooley — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 21:46:15 +0000

Are you ready for this? Pubcon 2009 in Sunny Las Vegas is almost here. And for the first time ever, I’m taking the podium. Runnin’ with the big dawgs. It’s in a few weeks and I still have yet to complete my presentation.

I’m screwed.

But at least my session is the first one, on the first day, so the chances of me nursing a killer hangover and possibly missing my speaking gig will be reduced by AT LEAST 15% – give or take.

If you know me, you know I’ve been a pretty hardcore SEO for about a decade. And if you know me well, you know that I’ve pretty much transitioned myself into full bore affiliate marketer recently. I still have a couple cool clients, but it’s no longer my core focus. At the time when I put in my request to speak at Pubcon, I was still seeking clients aggressively. And my strength to date has been corporate SEO. And that’s what I’ll be speaking about. How to build and in-house SEO team.

For my ex-competitors, you’ll get the sauce. Might be worth a look eh?

The rest of the week, I’ll be chasing Lisa Barone around in hopes of getting a kiss on the cheek… or something. I’ll hopefully be the proud winner of a personal assistant (brought to you by the same guys who inspired and caused DRINKBAIT) to help me build beer bongs and make people take shots. And I will be buying shots for SURE for those people who supported my efforts in the Anthem Relay for Life. Some awesome peeps like Jon Kelly, the bad asses saving the world through bioresins and what not over at ThomasNet, and one inspirational Raleigh SEO named Casey Yandle.

So get ready people. This is gonna be the best year EVER for PUBCON VEGAS!!

Drinking Your Way to Popularity!

Chris Hooley — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 16:39:02 +0000

Alcohol and popularity. What’s the deal? How are these things related? The only way to find out is to join the ultimate facebook group, Drinking Your Way to Popularity!

All the cool kids are doing it.

The best thing about it? You’re safe inside the walled garden that is Facebook. Nobody has to know your little secret… which is that you are a total drunk and so are your friends.

“This group is for all kinds of people who use beer, wine, or liquor to make themselves larger than life. Recreational drinkers, frat boys, business people who liquor up their clients and vendors, party animals, this is your home away from your home away from home, which should be your local bar.

Post pics and videos of puking, embarrassing photos of your friends (or enemies!), or any other alcohol related awesomeness. “

Sounds like the place to be! And the best part? If I know you, and you are my friend, you are automatically appointed an officer with a really cool name which undoubtedly will follow you around for the rest of your life.

Here’s the current role call of officers!

Chris Hooley: Doctor Drinkbait
Anna Rule (Toronto, ON): Doctor Drinkbait’s Nurse of Love (AKA my girlfriend)
Jon Heinl (Phoenix): Beer Bong Enthousiast
Skorp: Brewski Conquistador
Sara Hause (no network): Drunk Chick with a Great Rack
Nicola Young (Glasgow): Mexican
Gretchen Erle (Atlanta, GA): Classy, professional Atlanta SEO.
Michael Buonomo (San Diego, CA): Pony Keg Operations Specialist
Carolyn Shelby (Chicago, IL): Perverted Beer Matron
Ken Savage (Lowell, MA): Big Poppa Masshole
Dan Rezmovits (SUNY New Paltz): New York Nugget Tugger
Rhea Drysdale (Jacksonville, FL): Beer Monkey
Barbara Boser (Los Angeles, CA): Boser’s Beer Babe
Rebecca Kelley (Washington): ReBEERcca Kelley
Jill Sampey (New York, NY): Chill Jill
David Wallace: Search Drank
Scott Willoughby (Seattle, WA): Dave Naylor’s Eveil Drunken Twin
Michael A. Gray (Nassau County, NY): BeerWolf
Lucas Ng (Australia): Crocodile Mud Wrestler
Viper Edge (Chicago, IL): Snake Bite Maker
Eddie Machado (Fort Lauderdale, FL): Edible Underwear Model
David Brown (Bellingham, WA): Bone Crusher
Brian Alpert (Washington, DC): Drum Circle Jerker
Brett Tabke (Austin, TX): Pubmaster
Robert Garcia (Miami, FL): Rum Runner
Kelvin Newman (Brighton and Hove): Beer Jockey
Michael McDonald (Lexington, KY): Rage Reporter
Pete Wailes (London): Pianist (not to be confused with “Penist”)
Aussie Webmaster (New York, NY): Foster’s Importer
Danielle Winfield (New York, NY): Exotic Beer Maiden
Barry Schwartz (no network): Cartoon Beery
Ekrum Ashgar (London): Ex Raver, Current Rager
Greg Boser (Los Angeles, CA): Dark Beer Elitist

So get off your butt and get down with the crew. Facebook is in the house, drinks are in the house, Doctor DrinkBait is IN THE HOUSE! Get moving people!

Some Bums Deserve a Free Drink

Chris Hooley — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 21:42:39 +0000

I was in Portland Oregon the other day and I saw this bum in front of the liquor store that made me think… did this guy just give up on web marketing like, last week for a lucrative career in bumming? He’s even has his “Top 10″ list going. He could probably score hundreds of bottles of king cobra from the digg crowd with a sign like this!

SES NY- Now Taking Drinkbait Orders!

Chris Hooley — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 03:39:38 +0000

Me and Snoop Blawg are headed up to NY on Monday for some SES action. Those of yall who want some dranks, put in your order right here and when I see you at the awesome parties that I’m probably not invited to, you’ll be sure to get your fav drink from one of the masters of SEO drinking.

Now taking orders beyaaatch!!

Chris Hooley SECRETS!

Chris Hooley — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 05:48:42 +0000

You know you’ve finally made it at least to C-lister SEO pseudo celeb dude status if any one of the three following things happens:

Matt Cutts links to you from his blog (not just talks about you, but actually links to you… DAMN YOU MATT CUTS! You know you loved the drinkbait, STILL NO LINK!)
SEO Fan Girl blogs about you
A parady website is created, devoted to solely to you

With that said, I am proud to have passed a new level in my SEO career. I bring you… shamefully, Chris Hooley Secrets. WARNING: this site is not 100% accurate. My favorite drink is not Appletini, it is Melontini and ONLY when served with a pink umbrella.