One for the money, two for the show!

 

This morning has been kinda cool. Got a ton of Happy Birthday emails from random forums that I apparently joined one time (robots can be so sweet sometimes), a bunch of MySpace and FaceBook comments, emails and text messages from friends and family, and a sweet voicemail from my sweetheart wanting to be first to wish me a happy birthday.

Ya know, it feels good knowing people care… about an old ass man with wrinkly old man junk who is losing his hair and no longer knows the difference between “cool” and “on sale”.

Dudes and dudettes, here it comes. Mid Life Crisis Time. Instead of buying a fast italian sports car and boob jobs for random hot 22 year olds, I think I’m gonna give back to the community.

Those who know me, know I am a big fan of CONSOLIDATION of any sort. I don’t care if it’s student loans, liquid assets, affiliate reporting system interfaces, or anything else for that matter. I want it all in the same place at the same time. That being said, these scattered b-day wishes need a single point, a funnel if you will.

So here’s the deal blog buddies, if you want to console me through my miserable day of wearing garters and hating myself for not being 21, do it here. A simple Happy Birthday will do. And here’s the critical part of the crisis, it’s worth a link so all you fuckers better do it. Even the ones who don’t show up to my super dope party (AKA assholes).

So happy birthday to me. Make some comments up in this bitch, I wanna crack 50 if possible so at least I feel like I am loved even if I am on my way to impotence and wearing adult diapers.


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42 Responses to “The Mid Life Crisis Post - I’m Officially 30 :-(”

  1. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    SnoopBloggyBlawg Says:

    Happy Birthday M.C. SAGGY BALLZ!!!!

  2. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Ump Says:

    ive known ya a long time bro..cant wait to start doin some damage next month. Happy Birthday.
    PS..shit dont stop workin till ya hit 32-33…I’ve got a list and the order it starts to occur. Just let me know if ya need it.

    Ump

  3. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Jeff Dempsey Says:

    OLD!

  4. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Jeff Dempsey Says:

    Oh and happy birthday… 30 is the new 20 or something like that

  5. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Carolyn Shelby Says:

    Welcome to the over 30 club :P
    I swear you don’t look a day over 24.

  6. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    PPC Guy Says:

    Happy birthday Chris, even though your getting older your still a web Pimp. I remember the first time you back handed the keyboard.

  7. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    markus941 Says:

    You are too “on sale” for school, bro!
    May the hairs on your head consolidate themselves into tufty patches of mid-life-sexyness and your bank accounts overflow like the … [something]

    Happy Birthday, Chris! Keep truckin. KIT. RHAS.

  8. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    KrazyKorean Says:

    Chris: Hey ladies
    Ladies: Well hello there handsome
    Chris: You fine ladies wanna come to my Bday party this sat
    Ladies: Of course we would, we will bring our thongs
    Chris: Nice you guys are going to make my 30th AWESOME
    Ladie: EWWWWW 30!@#$ nvm, I forgot I had to babysit that day

  9. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    windowns Says:

    Happy Birthday you crazy man you.

  10. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Cygnus Says:

    Happy birthday to a guy that is clearly prepared for old age, given that you already live in Sun City…I realize it must be getting harder for you to hit on tootheless old ladies with Mrs Robinson complexes, but you shouldn’t give up hope.

    Is there going to be any adult entertainment?

    I will try to get my wife and daughter over to your place, in BFE Sun City, AZ.

  11. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Jess Says:

    Happy Birthday Boss man!

  12. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Rhona Melsky Says:

    If you’re old, then what am I? OK, I won’t take offense, at least this time! :) Happy 30th! It actually gets better from now on!

  13. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Tamar Weinberg Says:

    You still do look 21 though. Happy Birthday!!!!!

  14. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Dan Says:

    happy bday man. it’s cool you can still chill with me if you want, and i’m 23. we’ll avg out to 26 and a half so we can snag all the girlies from 21-32

  15. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Aaron Says:

    Get with it! Happy 30, here’s to being able to drink like a real man (aka: alcoholic)

  16. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Joachim Says:

    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    - Unknown

  17. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Cameron Olthuis Says:

    happy fockin birthday! 1977 huh, isn’t that same year dirt was born?

  18. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Nathania Johnson Says:

    Happy Birthday. Please stop saying 30 is midlife b/c I turn that very age next January.

  19. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    kid disco Says:

    I would definitely have chosen the Mini Moxie, but here’s your comment!

    Happy fucking birthday! :P

  20. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Dan Perry Says:

    Yo, Happy Birthday! Wait; is it still cool to say “Yo”, or did that go away when MTV stopped rapping?

  21. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    pratt Says:

    Happy fuckin’ birthday!

    Thanks for that pic of the hot 22 year old! Haha.

  22. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    David Wallace Says:

    Old? Man you ain’t old til you hit 40 like me. You’re still a puppy you youngin’.

    Happy birthday, man. See you Saturday (most likely).

  23. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Jason Murphy Says:

    Hooley! I’m smelling your oldness all the way from Vegas! Stop eating the garlic pills and prune juice already, life is just getting started! (I turn 30 in 2008).

    Seriosly, Happy Birthday man. Thanks for keeping the SEO world out of suits and ties. Here’s to the next 30! [raises drinkbait glass]

  24. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    SEO Loser Says:

    HAPPY BDAY BRO! I’m turning 23 tomorrow and you look like you’re in much better shape than me (http://www.flickr.com/photos/7844335@N02/462434665/ ).

    Congrats!

  25. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Pete Wailes Says:

    Happpppppppppppppppy Birthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhday!

    Enjoy it, biatch! :)

  26. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Andrea Says:

    just remember, i’ll always be younger than you :P hahah
    love ya bro! happy bday!

  27. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Jon Says:

    Happy 30th Birthday old man. The Red Sox are going to lose to the Yankees!! Woooooo!!

    I hope to chill with you again at the next conference. Hit me up for free passes to Affiliate Summit East. We need more guys like you over there in Miami to party it up with free booze and hot girls (not hotter than your gf — that was just for her).

  28. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Chris Hooley Says:

    aa hahahaa. Eat your words Jon. BoSox have heart. Janks have money. Score one for the home team!

    Hit me up offline about the Affiliate Summit - my contact info is on my contact page :-)

  29. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Joe Whyte Says:

    You are wicked awsome. Is 30 really a mid life crisis?

    Nah but I love the hot 22 year olds and fast italian sports car idea!!

  30. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Rach Says:

    Yo Dawg, check it out.. the big Three - Oh! I am super proud of you - love you lots! R!~

  31. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Rae Says:

    Happy birthday Hooley - wish I could have flown in to spend it with ya! :)

  32. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    SEO Fangirl Says:

    From one old fart (according to Eurostar) to another, Happy Birthday! I still think you and the rest of the band will be super sexy climbing the hill.

    xx
    Fangirl

  33. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    joshua Says:

    Your beer garden was kind of a big deal. Happy birthday dude.

  34. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Brendon Says:

    Happy, happy birthday.

    May your life be filled with joy, love and…………….beer.

  35. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Ken Savage Says:

    Happy bday old man. I got 5 years on ya. How do you think I feel. But my wife is only 29 so I’m living some kinda charmed life.

    Enjoy my man.

  36. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Ken Savage Says:

    oh yea btw Jon, How’d your Yankees do?

    4 homers in a home? The 4 bumper stickers on my Jeep saying it correctly. YANKEES SUCK

  37. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    RollMeDice Says:

    Happy B-Day from the Netherlands Chris. Enjoy your day (and try not to fall asleep… I know how you oldies tend to doze off every opportunity you get!) ;-)

  38. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Brooke Says:

    Happy Birthday from all of us at StudentLoanConsolidator! That’s right, we snoop at our competitors blogs!

  39. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Johnny Says:

    man..guess i was a few days late. but happy birthday. the big 3-0. :)

  40. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    shor Says:

    Only a month late but what do you expect, I’m from Australia.

    You wanted 50 comments so I figured I’d help out. 40 sounds a lot better than 39 (unless we’re talking age where 29 sounded a lot better than 30! HAH)

    Hope you had a good one.

  41. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    David Wilkinson Says:

    Nearing two and a half months late (who am I kidding ‘nearing’) but what the hell. Happy Birthday - Big man! :D

    I’ll make it 41 comments. ;) As for the crisis shabizzle? You’re in a tizzy ’bout nothing. You’re the best freaking SEO d00d this side of… Um… A long way. You’re HOT in the blogging community and you’ve got one helluva reputation. Aside from all that - YOU DA MAN!

    David Wilkinson

  42. See my profile on MyBlogLog.com!
    Janet Says:

    LoL - You’re page made me crack up….”I’m thinking where the heck did this funny guy come from?” lol

    Happy Late Birthday….

    By the way, random 22 yr olds huh? lol My birthday is coming up this month :-) Gonna be 22 ;-)

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