Chris Hooley’s -ThinkBait-

Just got a neat little Klog I won from Karl Ribas’ blog in the mail today. Pretty cool little thang. Gave me an SEO inspiration…

You want links from someboy’s blog? Try sending the writer free stuff. I bet it works 80% of the time for most bloggers… in fact, you want a link from me? Send me some beer, chicks, money, or anything related to unicorns. 60% of the time, it works every time.

I am not the type who usually talks politics. In this case, I can’t hold back. There is a reason people do not trust politicians.

• Student loan interest rates will be cut in half
• The nation will save $20-30 billion
• More free money for students
• Higher education will be accessible for more people

These sound bites are hard to resist. They sound great don’t they? Propaganda at its best convinces the masses to blindly believe ideas or concepts that they don’t even understand. In this case, it’s the bill known as HR5. Here’s a quick run down of what this bill is, how it flew under the radar, why it has so much bipartisan support, and why it is a bad, bad idea.

HR5 - The Hidden Student Loan Tax

Those who crafted HR5 see banks and student loan companies as middlemen in the federal lending program (FFELP). This part is true. Private companies receive government subsidies to get federally backed and regulated loans into the student’s hands so kids can pay for school. The main idea is to slash these subsidies to lenders, and increase fees to generate and / or hold student loans to save the government a ton of money. These “rebate fees” are essentially tax, since the government is taking a percentage of each loan already when they are created, and yearly as they are held.

The politicians who are pushing this bill don’t even understand the industry, and through their actions, they are likely to eliminate an entire industry created to help kids get money for school. Private lenders compete against each other in the free market. Because there is competition, companies must do their best earn business. The term “Student Loan Benefits” is the process by which private lenders give back money to students who borrow these federally backed and regulated loans. These benefits are often rate cuts, cash back rewards, and similar types of incentives. By adding additional fees and increasing the tax on these loans, they are making it impossible for the entire industry to offer these benefits to students any longer.

The Department of Education (D.O.E.) offers the same exact loans as private lenders, however, they do not offer incentives. The D.O.E. runs their student loan business in typical governmental bureaucratic fashion- think the DMV handling your finances and your keys to your education. If you don’t qualify or you miss a date, no service, you don’t go to school.

Student loan companies give back to the students, and also compete in terms of value add services and even on customer care. It is an industry that truly saves students a ton of money.

The government is screwing up their budget trying to fund a war, they are now pointing fingers at an industry they created, and pushing a juicy propaganda campaign to garner public support before election time. This is a democratic bill, but it even has the Bush administration’s support (because to do otherwise would be political suicide) - the sound bites are just too good.

Sound Bites Reviewed, Lies Revealed

If you look at the claims then read the bill, you see some huge glaring problems. Let’s do a quick step through and explain how these lies might really hurt our nation’s higher education system.

Student loan interest rates will be cut in half
The only student loans that have cut rates are fully subsidized Stafford loans, and the rate drop is a 0.5% drop for 7 years straight before it is reset to 6.8%. Fully subsidized means that the government pays the interest while the student is in school. Since rates on these loans are variable and reset every year, they only affect students who graduate in the golden window right before rates go back up. Think about it, the government is ONLY cutting rates on the loans it is responsible to pay for.

Furthermore, these loans are usually only attained by the lowest income level families. So to give itself a break, the government would be cutting its OWN rate temporarily. But when students graduate, they are right back into the same boat as before. Taking money from the middle class to give to the poor plays well for certain segments of voters and sounds oh so good, until you realize that over half of those who receive federal aid are not eligible for these loans. If you are middle class, you are getting screwed harder and might not be able to pay for school because of it.

The nation will save 20-30 billion
Where is this money coming from? Politicians are trying to to make it sound like the student loan companies will be paying for it, but think. If the cost of milk goes up, so does the cost of ice cream. These politicians will try to demonize private lenders if they do not continue to provide aggressive student loan benefits, but how can they? They could be put out of business, and you’ll have to trust your student financing with Uncle Sam.

More free money for students
This bill does include an increase in Pell Grants. THAT part is good, but it is a mere pittance. The increase is around $260 - enough for a book for two. This is not even CLOSE to the range of the cost they will be taxing to private lenders.

Higher education will be accessible for more people
This is a sound bite with no merit. Federal student loans are not any more or less easy to qualify for. Almost anybody can get some kind of funding and payment is not due till after graduation.

In fact, the opposite may happen. By doing an industry wide shake down and socializing an entire industry like student loans, you eliminate the only other group besides schools who are motivated to get students the funding they need. And if you put private lenders out of business, the screwjob is even worse. You can only borrow a few thousands per semester in federal student loans, and the average cost of attendance is close to 20k a year. People will NOT be able to pay for school if the industry is shaken up. Students NEED private student loans to supplement the limits on government loans. Fewer students would be able to pay for school if the FFELP lenders didn’t thrive.

Socialism or Capitalism? Who do you trust handling your student financing?

If this bill passes, the student loan industry would be crippled, leaving the Department of Education in the driver’s seat with your finances and education at stake. Get in the bread line, you are getting, bread… because there is no other choice. Imagine that, the same entity that runs the DMV handling my finance. Not only is that creepy and big brother-ish, but it is simply not the American way. Capitalism and free trade is what makes this company tick. Markets are self regulating when there is sufficient competition, and the consumer decides who best serves their needs and reinforces their choice.

Socialism, and socializing finance, is not in the best interest of students or our country. What do you think? Sounds like “The Great Student Loan Screwjob” if you ask me.

Auto responder doesn’t work yet, design doesn’t exist, and I can’t guarantee the database will even hold yer datter,  but if yer achin’ to join this contest, you can be a guinea pig for the form I just wrote and didn’t test yet.

SIGN UP NOW!!!!  I’ll let you know if I got yer info.

You know you’ve finally made it at least to C-lister SEO pseudo celeb dude status if any one of the three following things happens:

1. Matt Cutts links to you from his blog (not just talks about you, but actually links to you… DAMN YOU MATT CUTS! You know you loved the drinkbait, STILL NO LINK!)
2. SEO Fan Girl blogs about you
3. A parady website is created, devoted to solely to you

With that said, I am proud to have passed a new level in my SEO career. I bring you… shamefully, Chris Hooley Secrets. WARNING: this site is not 100% accurate. My favorite drink is not Appletini, it is Melontini and ONLY when served with a pink umbrella.

The Nintendo Wii is one of the best developments to come to the gaming world in a LOOOONG time.  Stores can’t keep them on the shelves, gamers are turning from fat, zit-faced geeks to well-formed athletically built super models, and my parties are turning from me playing drinking webcam UNO on my Xbox to something drastically different.

If you are into the Wii and you need to learn about how to make YOUR Wii Party totally Wii-tastic, check out this article and spread it all over the web.  It’s da bomb!

Make no mistakes, Chris Hooley is hot. Hot for LISA BARONE! Shown here rocking the sleeveless “the Lisa” shirt, Chris is turning up the heat on all pussy cats riding the KING OF ALL CATS in the history of feline-ism.

SEO turned clothing designer Michael Gray needed a hot stable of mens to show off his latest fashion splash, the Lisa Line. Order yours today and become almost as cool as the hot young models rocking the new gear!

He launches a ridiculous contest called “WHO WANTS TO DATE AN SEO?”

The prize? Round trip ticket to Phoenix Arizona for a kick ass date with Chris Hooley. You’ll get round trip tickets to PHX, a hotel room for a night at a swanky jam, and you’ll be pampered by SEO’s biggest jokester.

The night will start by being greeted at the airport by Chris Hooley and “Camera Monkey” and immediately whisked into a pimped out limo and on to Scottsdale Arizona’s downtown district. The menu for the evening will consist of either lobster or some other totally pimped out high end food type stuff, and over-priced champaigne will be a flowin’. After dinner, the party will move to a swanky Scottsdale night club, where total awesome will occur. The location of the dinner and night club will be voted on by you, your friends, and / or other commenters on this blog.

The antics, I mean date, will be taped rockstar style as we have commissioned a local camera man to record the festivities. A YouTube video of the event will edited up, and spread all over the web like cream cheese on a bagel.

The rules are simple. Sign up, or sign a friend up. You will receive an affiliate ID soon thereafter, and a link to a page with a counter with your affiliate ID attached once upon launch of the contest. Once the contest starts, there will be a period of 3 weeks while hits are tallied up on you or your friend’s counter. At the end of the contest, the person with the most hits on their counter wins. Easy.

The kick off date for the contest will not be revealed until there are at least 20 sign ups.

There are some rules and restrictions for this contest.

• First and foremost: Have fun. You are not expected to “put out” and this whole thing is just to shake things up. Think of it as a “fun date”, a “mercy date”, a “free trip to the desert in the winter with free drinks”, or “the best prank on your buddy ever”
• If you are a dude, in no way shape or form will I be “giving it up” or”putting out”
• Since I am pretty sure nobody will sign themselves up for this, it is HIGHLY ENCOURAGED that you sign up your friend(s) - this could be a kick ass prank if you do it properly, or could get that shy girl who really loves the HooleyMeister (yeah right lol) to get flown to Phoenix to get pampered by the man of her dreams… and yes I know that one is a long shot but hell
• The exact date of the date will be determined after we find out who the winner is, but will occur within 3 weeks of the contest’s end
• If the winner chooses not to claim their prize, the 2nd place person person will be the winner. If they choose not to claim, the 3rd place person, then 4th, 5th, etc.
• All entries (except bad neighborhoods or spammers) will get a nofollow link on this el blogo. All entries with over 500 visitors will be upgraded to a clean link.
• To be elligible, you or your appointed date must be at least 18 years of age, and must be in the continental US. Sorry Brits, Alaskans, and Canadians. I love you, but your tickets are crazy expensive.
• Chris prefers the ladies, but if a dude wins, I gotta man up.

And that’s it. This may not be as romantic as Rand’s wedding proposal, but still a neat way to make some fun happen.

The target launch date is March 1, 2007 and the anticipated end date will be March 22, 2007. Some of the rules may change up a little based on your input, but once the contest starts, the rules are locked. I’ll open up sign ups and create the microsite over the weekend, so check back like a mofo!

Anybody got any ideas about how to get this contest rolling? It could be big if it’s done right, and the video could end up being one of the most hilarious things ever. What do you think?

Finally, some evidence of my Halloween costume from this year has surfaced. I had no idea how gross my nerd costume really was until I saw it again just now. I went all out, even shaving the top of my head bald!

Man, I hope this isn’t what I really look like when I get older…

This kid’s got some moves! I hope her linkbating skills develop as quickly as her top rock!

That’s right.  Chris Hooley currently rocks the party that rocks the body.  For y’all who don’t know, SEOmoz recently redesigned their site, and with it came a pimped out UGC tool called YOUmoz that lets you blog on THEIR blog, and then users can vote you up or down based on your entry.

I wrote a little article about how to PWN the new MOZpoints system, which basically said the following: “Either be Chris Hooley, or exactly like him” - pimp.  Now I am numero uno on YOUmoz Popular!

So now you have a bunch of reasons to visit da ‘moz.   They let you earn points for participation, they have kick ass premium content for those who want SUPER in depth articles on SEO, and I PWN the popular spot for user gen content.

Pimp.  Go there and thumb up my shizzle!

I recently received an offer to buy www.mcpmedia.com for 65k. It was my first REAL website, and the site that got me into SEO, web design, and all things web. It does have sentimental value, but I have not monetized the site for almost a year… with hundreds of leads not being sold or worked. It’s a shame really, but there’s more to it.

This domain, registered in 2002, has 51k backlinks according to Yahoo. Most of those are pretty darn old. It has a few DMOZ listings, and ranks really well for a ton of terms (mostly web design, dev, and SEO terms with the local modifiers AZ, Arizona, and Phoenix).

The site also recently spent almost 6 months at #1 on Yahoo! for the phrase “web design” (with no quotes) and at that time I was trying to overcharge and sell the domain for a million (dude’s gotta try!). It is ranking first page on Google for phrases like “web design quotes” which has to be worth something to somebody.

All of my email addresses for logins are mcpmedia.com. My IM handles are all mcpmedia. There are a few pages with really old links to other sites that I am interested in. If I sell it, I’ll lose some strong links, some history, and I’ll have a TON of work ahead of me…. screwing around with a ton of my online accounts.  Also, my little brother sometimes grabs some of these leads to get his feet wet with project management and monetization of the web.  It’s great learning for my little bro, which alone could make me want to hold on to this thing.

I dunno, what would you do? I don’t need the money, and I have been squatting on this thing for quite some time. For 250k it would be an easy decision for me, but I think the offer the guy made was pretty scientific. Somehow he made the offer just barely high enough for me to think about it…

I guess this is some REAL ThinkBait. Can anybody help sell me either way on why I SHOULD or SHOULD NOT sell this website? If so, I need some solid guidance.

Superbowl weekend. Vegas. 15 dudes, 7 rooms, 7 “rascal” strollers (each with accompanying dude), 1 boom box blasting “Riding Dirty”, and about 368 beers in total. The videos are being edited now, and we plan on a #1 YouTube appearance from the antics in about 3-4 weeks.

In my defense before you see these things, I was really really drunk.

While I was away, apparently the world did not stop. In fact, I missed a lot of awesome. A LOT. The most impressive of which came from SEOmoz… Rand Fishkin was that MySuperProposal guy. What a kick ass stunt. If I was gay I would totally make out with him. Just look at how cute all this stuff is… but I can’t figure out why I wanna puke a little in my mouth… maybe it was too sweet for my manly, rugged ass.

Seriously tho, congrats to Rand and Geraldine. I hope your life together is rewarding and filled with love. (there’s that little bit of puke coming back up… err.. BEER! FOOTBALL! BOOBS! WALLET CHAIN! MALE PATTERN BALDNESS! - ahh that’s better).

Ladies, don’t worry I am single. Waitaminnit… Rand= Romantic. Chris= Drunk loud guy. Rand= Getting married. Chris= Single. Yup, no relation at all. MOVING ON!

Ok then. I decided instead of moving on, I would sulk and look at pictures of my hot ex-girlfriend who eventually cheated on me with her ex boyfriend.  Maybe I’ll even start drinking myself to sleep every night….  *sigh*  she was hot.

Rand might have more backlinks, more fans, more readers, a hot future wife… but at least I’m pretty sure I can bench press more than him. Eff it, I’m still awesome *tear

It is not secret I love marketing stunts, Boston, catching a buzz, and funny stuff. Combine all this into one crazy enough antic and you have a whole major city in a panic. I wish DrinkBait had as much national coverage.

So the quick and skinny, these guerilla marketers for ATHF hit the city and placed little cheap “lite brite” esque displays of mooninities flipping the bird around the city. Funny, buzzworthy, I give you a C+ sirs.

It gets hairy when the City of Boston thought they were bombs (there are conflicting reports stating that marketers actually called in the bomb threats to reinforce this). The best part of this whole thing? After their arraignment, the “guerrilla marketers” had a quick press conference where instead of talking about their case, they would ONLY talk about hair cuts in the 70s. I love it. I GIVE YOU AN A++ SIRS!

The press conference video is hilarious! These guys are staring in the face of some possible prison time and a 3/4 million dollar fine, and it doesn’t shake them.

Here’s a two videos to get some background at the sheer awesomeness of this stuff. One is an ATHF video showing the mooninites in action, and the other is the press conference. So awesome!

How many links do you think a stunt like this is worth? Or better yet, how much do you think the publicity is worth?

FYI- thought Markus’ write up was good, check it out!